nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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