You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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