Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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