rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
