I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
