Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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