A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
