Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
