Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
my sisters under your porch take her home
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
