and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
