i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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