I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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