My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
