At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
