pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
