Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You ruined the universe
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
