if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
