i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
