I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
