Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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