I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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