with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize