Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
