He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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