Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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