They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
