just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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