Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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