sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
