I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
