Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
PANTIES FOUND
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