Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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