Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
it hurts more in the daytime
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
