No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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