no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
