lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
