Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
