fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
