you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
