Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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