We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
