how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
