ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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