I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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