so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize