I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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