you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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