Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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