hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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