North Korea, Best Korea!
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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