The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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